5 Tips for Those Hard Conversations No One Wants to Have
Have you ever thought about calling out of work because you wanted to avoid a difficult conversation? Rather than having that conversation, you think, “Why not push it off a little longer”?
I’m here with some tips to help you conquer these conversations head-on, with confidence, so you don’t have to continue to cower to them anymore.
Tip #1: Listen Up
Listening is the most essential strategy in any difficult conversation.
Rather than speaking the whole time, take time in the conversation to specifically listen to what the other individual has to say. Don’t spend the time when the other person is talking to think of what you want to say next or how to be defensive; instead, take that time and listen to what they are saying.
Paying attention and not getting distracted by other employees or office matters will also help. You want to ensure you have the proper, uninterrupted time set aside for these conversations to give your undivided attention to deliver your message and come up with a solution.
Tip #2: Be Clear
You want to ensure you are clear about what you expect from the other individual. Ensure you communicate properly and explain exactly the message you are trying to deliver.
This may mean pre-planning your conversation and the points you are trying to make. Don’t be afraid to write notes in the meeting to help keep you on track.
At the end of the conversation, always ask them to summarize what they received from the hard conversation so that you know it was communicated properly.
Tip #3: Body Language / Delivery
Facial expressions are the first thing we notice about someone. If you are going into the conversation already miserable and do not want to have this talk, your face will show it.
“RBF” is real and can make or break your conversation.
Eye contact is another tell-all; they are a powerful indicator of emotion. If you roll your eyes or constantly look away from who you speak to, your message will not be received well.
The confidence in your voice is another important aspect of the conversation. You don’t want to sound too harsh, angry, or mean, but you want the receiving employee to know you mean business and are serious.
Tip #4: Change Perspectives
Seeing things from different perspectives takes work but is a vital tip in management. Sometimes, you feel your opinion or view is always right, but unfortunately, that is not always the case.
Going into these conversations with an open mind will help you immensely. Ideas and solutions are meant to be heard, and both parties should have a say.
But keep in mind that you want to be able to agree in the end together. Don’t always jump to conclusions; people perceive things differently, so it’s wise to listen to what others say to see it from their point of view. It will help you grow as a leader and help you learn to think of all different aspects moving forward.
Tip #5: Plan Forward
Always document hard conversations. This doesn’t mean it is automatically a “write-up” every time, but you want to ensure that you track these conversations. Type a summary of the conversation and what you reviewed in the meeting.
It is strongly recommended that these be kept in the employee’s work file to have as a record of the conversations. Giving the employee a copy of the summary is also a way of following up if need be, but it also allows for confirmation on being unable to say, “We never had that talk.”
Sometimes, people blank or freeze in challenging conversations and don’t remember or retain any information. Giving them this summary will help them after the fact and may allow them to open the door to better communication in the future.
Checking in is important, as well as ensuring they don’t have any follow-up questions or need help with whatever tasks need improvement.
Stop Putting Off Difficult Conversations
Now’s the time to stop putting off those difficult conversations and conquer them head-on. We are all human, and no one is perfect. These conversations are not ideal, but they can be more accessible.
Always remember to treat people how you want to be treated. If you don’t think you would wish something to be said to you a certain way, don’t say it and re-think your delivery and the message you are trying to convey.
“A great conversation challenges and inspires you to elevate your thinking.”Let’s change hard conversations to great conversations and change our mindset.
About the Author
Nicole Sperone, DA, MAADOM
Nicole Sperone is an office manager at Clermont Family Dentistry, with 8 years in the industry. Her passion was in dental assisting, but she soon learned her potential and grew into dental management.
She enjoys spending time with her family and also helps students achieve their Dental Assistant Certificates while working at The Dental Education Institute on the weekends.
Nicole is a proud member of the American Association of Dental Office Management and earned her FAADOM in 2023 and MAADOM in 2024.
