Creating the Ideal Relationship with Your Doctor
Do you find yourself repeatedly wondering…
- “What is the doctor thinking?”
- “Why can’t they just say what they mean?”
- “Why are they always so aloof, angry, or quiet?”
You’re not alone.
As an office manager, operations manager, and human resources director, I’ve had numerous conversations with administrative teams frustrated by poor doctor communication. In addition, having been married to our practice’s dentist for 34 years and worked together in the office for 28 years, I have a unique insight into the doctor’s perspective.
In researching this topic, I have incorporated thoughts and feedback from his perspective.
What Your Doctor Wishes You Knew
Whether seasoned with years of experience or new to the office management position, your relationship with your managing dentist can make or break your day and career.
As the critical link between clinical operations and business management, office managers who establish effective communication with their doctors create practices that thrive financially and provide exceptional patient care. The communication gap between doctors and managers often leads to frustration, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities for practice growth.
Understanding your doctor’s perspective, implementing structured communication strategies, and building a foundation of trust can transform this challenging dynamic into a productive partnership.
This article explores practical approaches to bridge that communication gap and create a professional relationship that benefits you and your practice. By recognizing the unique pressures doctors face and adapting your communication style accordingly, you can become an invaluable partner in practice success. These strategies will help you move beyond daily frustrations to build a relationship that enhances your career satisfaction and your practice’s performance.
Understanding Your Doctor’s World
Before exploring communication strategies, it’s essential to understand what your doctor experiences daily, as most dentists are juggling multiple responsibilities.
Clinical excellence requires focusing on patient outcomes and quality of care while making split-second decisions that affect patient health and practice liability. Business ownership entails the constant pressure of managing financial responsibilities, loans, and overhead costs while balancing profitability and patient care. Team leadership often falls to doctors who lack formal management training, creating stress as they attempt to guide staff while navigating complex interpersonal dynamics.
Treatment planning involves making complex decisions with significant consequences for patient outcomes and practice revenue, often under time pressure. Patient expectations add another layer of complexity, as doctors must balance clinical needs with patient desires while managing unrealistic expectations or difficult personalities.
These pressures create a mental load that many office managers and other employees don’t fully perceive. Your doctor may seem distracted, not because they’re disinterested in your concerns, but because they’re mentally triaging competing priorities.
Establishing Effective Communication Channels
The foundation of an effective doctor-manager relationship is consistent, structured communication. Here’s how to build it:
Implement Daily Briefings
Establish a daily check-in routine to discuss team dynamics and address personnel concerns that may impact patient care or office morale. Cover patient schedule highlights and potential challenges, allowing your doctor to prepare mentally for complex cases or difficult patients.
Address facility issues requiring attention, from equipment problems to supply shortages that could impact daily operations. Review progress on resolving previous issues, demonstrate your follow-through, and inform your doctor about ongoing solutions.
These brief meetings, just 10 minutes, create a rhythm of communication that prevents issues from festering while demonstrating your proactive approach to practice management. The consistency of daily briefings builds trust and ensures that essential matters receive attention before they become urgent problems.
Recognize Context Switching Challenges
Doctors constantly switch between clinical mode and business owner mode. When you need their attention on administrative matters, establish a “focus signal,” a keyword or phrase that signals importance and helps them transition mentally from clinical thinking to business considerations.
Differentiate between urgent matters requiring immediate attention and those that can wait until scheduled administrative time, respecting their clinical focus while ensuring that critical issues are adequately considered. Schedule management discussions during non-clinical time, allowing for more focused and productive conversations without interrupting patient care. Present information concisely with clear action items, helping your doctor process administrative information efficiently without feeling overwhelmed by lengthy updates.
Many doctors report that disorganized, lengthy updates from managers become overwhelming amid their other responsibilities, making brevity and clarity essential communication skills. The goal is to provide necessary information while respecting the mental energy required to switch between different types of thinking and decision-making.
Manage the Schedule Proactively
Nothing creates more tension than schedule surprises.
Prioritize communicating with previously postponed patients who are now rescheduled, allowing your doctor to prepare mentally and review treatment plans for patients they may not have seen recently. Communicate changes to the daily schedule immediately, along with the reasoning behind changes and any potential impact on other appointments or procedures.
Provide regular updates on production goals and progress, helping your doctor understand how daily activities contribute to practice financial health. Identify potential bottlenecks or challenges before they impact patient care, demonstrating foresight and enabling proactive problem-solving rather than crisis management.
Your doctor may not express it directly, but they sincerely appreciate it when you handle scheduling issues before they become problems that interrupt the clinical flow.
This proactive approach to schedule management reduces stress for the entire team and contributes significantly to smooth daily operations and patient satisfaction.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
To customize your communication approach, consider scheduling a dedicated meeting to ask your doctor these important questions to help establish clear expectations and improve your working relationship. Ask how they would prefer you communicate urgent versus non-urgent matters, as this distinction affects everything from interruption protocols to email versus phone communication preferences.
Determine the best time of day for administrative discussions, allowing you to respect their energy levels and clinical demands while ensuring that essential topics receive proper attention. Clarify what information they want daily versus weekly, helping you prioritize updates and avoid overwhelming them with unnecessary details while keeping them informed about critical issues.
Learn how to support their clinical focus best while keeping them informed, understanding their multitasking abilities, and preferred methods of receiving updates without disrupting patient care. Discover what aspects of practice management stress them the most, open the door to targeted support, and demonstrate your commitment to reducing their administrative burden wherever possible.
These questions demonstrate your commitment to supporting their needs while establishing clear expectations that benefit you and the entire practice.
From the Doctor’s Perspective
In conversations with my husband and other practice owners, I’ve discovered what doctors wish office managers understood about their daily experience and expectations.
The following is what was shared with me:
- We appreciate foresight more than anything else, as identifying potential issues before they become problems isn’t just helpful; it’s invaluable to maintaining smooth operations and preventing crises.
- Solutions over problems make a significant difference in our stress levels, so when possible, present challenges alongside potential solutions rather than just bringing issues that require us to shift focus from clinical care to problem-solving.
- Financial awareness matters tremendously because understanding the business realities of dentistry helps you make better operational decisions that support practice profitability while maintaining quality patient care.
- We value your expertise deeply, as most doctors recognize that administration isn’t their strength, and they rely on your specialized knowledge to handle the business side effectively.
- A partnership mindset fosters the most successful practices, where doctors and managers view their relationship as collaborating with complementary skills rather than a traditional hierarchy. The most rewarding working relationships develop when both parties recognize that their combined expertise creates better outcomes than either could achieve alone.
Building Trust Through Consistency
The foundation of every successful doctor-manager relationship is trust. Trust is built through consistency in communication, reliability in execution, and transparency in challenges. Your doctor needs to know that when you say something will be handled, it will be without their intervention.
Remember that many dentists entered their profession focusing on clinical excellence, rather than business management. Your expertise in operations provides essential support, enabling them to focus on their core strengths while ensuring the practice thrives.
By implementing these strategies and approaching your relationship as a professional partnership, you’ll create a more productive, less stressful work environment and perhaps even find that your doctor becomes more communicative, appreciative, and engaged.
Building a Strong Doctor–Manager Partnership
Creating an ideal relationship with your managing dentist requires intentional effort, structured communication, and a commitment to understanding their unique perspective and daily pressures. The strategies outlined in this article—from implementing daily briefings to asking targeted questions about communication preferences—provide a practical roadmap for transforming potentially frustrating interactions into productive professional partnerships.
Success in this relationship stems from recognizing that doctors and office managers bring complementary skills to practice management, with each party’s expertise contributing to the practice’s overall success and patient satisfaction. Consistency in communication, reliability in execution, and transparency when challenges arise are the foundation for building the trust that enables true collaboration.
When office managers approach their relationship with doctors as a professional partnership rather than a traditional employee-supervisor dynamic, both parties benefit from reduced stress, improved efficiency, and greater job satisfaction. By implementing these communication strategies and maintaining a proactive, solution-focused approach to practice management, you’ll likely find that your doctor becomes more communicative, appreciative, and engaged in the collaborative process that benefits everyone in the practice.
About the Author
Laurie Spitz, DAADOM
Laurie and her husband, Steve, a prosthodontist, founded Smileboston Cosmetic and Implant Dentistry, a three-doctor dental practice outside Boston, MA.
Her business, marketing, and public relations degree has given her the background to successfully work in every office capacity (other than clinical), and anything her degree didn’t teach, life has.
As an AADOM spouse, Laurie has a unique perspective, allowing greater optics in every aspect of the organization.
Over the last 27 years, she built a business from scratch, purchased and sold a second office, and evolved to an OON office while raising three kids, two growing up in a pack-and-play behind her desk.
Laurie has been a member of AADOM since 2017 and earned her Fellowship in 2023. She earned her Mastership (MAADOM) in September of 2024 and her DAADOM status in 2025.
