Life Through the Eyes of the Spouse: Part Two – Perspective is Everything

Real-World Insights from Megan Schulte, MAADOM.

 

It took almost two years for us to build a rapport and community with each other and our team. As I found my footing in the office, I became the liaison between the team (of all women) and my husband. I felt conflicted, wanting to support the women I worked with but also support my husband.

We went through lots of ups and downs over the years. We brought lots of work home to our dinner table conversations. We complained a lot about each other and why our team wanted more and more from us even though we felt we gave so much.

Morale was low. We worked long hours, and we were tired. By the end of the day, I would have poured all my energy into our team and patients, trying to make everyone happy.  When I got home, my family received a grumpy and exhausted Mom. This is not much different from any working parent who manages at work and home. We were tired!

Finding Purpose and Teamwork in a Busy Dental Practice

Working with people is often draining.

I don’t know about your office, but we see roughly 50 patients daily with a team of 14. How can we make everyone happy?

One day, my husband spoke to me as an employee versus the courtesy tone you give your spouse when you are in front of others. I could feel the steam escaping from my body as I tried not to explode in front of our team.

When we spoke about this later in the day, I was done, and I wanted to quit. He looked at me and said, “I do not feel like you are on my team. I feel like you’re working against me. I want us to be on the same team.”

From that moment, I had to decide: Am I in or out?  I chose to stay.

We’d been given this incredible gift. We had an established dental practice and needed to work together to improve it, and I needed to change my perspective. I began looking at my work as the practice owner and wanted to find purpose.

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Challenges and Triumphs of Supporting a Dental Practice as a Spouse

Here is what I want you to know. Running a dental practice is hard. Running any business takes time and effort.

It’s two jobs in one. Typically, the dentist is the business owner and the dentist. They are smart, and they know their numbers. They know dentistry. They know how much dentistry must be performed per chair per hour, and the same is true for their associates and hygienists so their team can get paid.

They must also be present and attentive to their patients to ensure quality dentistry and patient care. It’s all about patient care!

As my responsibilities grew, I struggled with the schedule of being a working mother. Working Mothers are amazing people, aren’t we?

In my position, I began to care about my team, my patients, and our practice while watching my husband grow as a Dentist. It was a unique perspective to see. As the spouse, I watched morale and tried different things to keep everyone happy.

I often felt like the middleman. As the spouse, I’m not an employee and not quite the boss. Even though we work to support our dentist and keep all the balls rolling, in most states, we cannot legally own our practice. Many of us left fulfilling careers where we felt respected and valued to work alongside our spouses in the office.

We try not to take things personally, but we do. Running a successful dental practice with a happy team and happy patients is not for the weak. We give grace every day, and we need grace too.

How AADOM Saved the Day

After changing my perspective, I started researching conferences and classes for office managers.

I wanted to do better. I was not what I would consider an office manager by any means. I needed leadership skills and more education on how to run a dental office and lead others. I wanted all the information to make me successful. Thank God I found AADOM!

At my first AADOM conference, I had a class with Debbie Nash, a dentist’s spouse. She shared that 70% of married dentists have a spouse who works in the practice in some capacity.

I was shocked!

Here is what also stuck with me: She said, “When we’re at work, he’s the boss, and I have to respect him as my boss.” I about dropped to the floor.

“Oh no, he is not my boss! Try again!”

She continued explaining that they were a team, and everyone needed to see them as a unified front. That is what makes their practice successful. 

Being the owner is hard. Supporting the owner is hard. I had to let Debbie’s words soak in and find their place. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear or put into practice. Initially, I aimed to work and support my husband in our practice. Perspective.

Look for Part 3 of Life Through the Eyes of the Spouse in upcoming issues. If you missed Part 1, you can find it here.

 

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About the Author

 

Megan Schulte, MAADOM

Megan Schulte has worked in the dental field for eight years. Her knowledge of people and the industry has grown tremendously over the years. She works alongside her dentist husband in their practice, Schulte Family Dentistry.

Megan graduated from Kentucky Wesleyan College in 2003 with a degree in social work. She has been married to her husband, David, for 18 years, and they share 3 children. She loves to be surrounded by her friends, family, and a good book.

She was inducted as an AADOM Fellow in 2021 and a Master in 2024.

 

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