“What If They Don’t Want to Do the Pizza Party?” — Managing the New Generation of Dental Staff Who Opt Out of Team Bonding
If you’ve been managing a dental office for more than a few years, you’ve probably noticed a shift. Team lunches that used to be met with excitement now get polite declines. Birthday celebrations feel awkward if they happen at all. And when you plan a fun after-hours outing, half the team seems uninterested or cancels at the last minute.
When I first started in my office as a part-time Dental Assistant fresh out of school, I loved the family-like atmosphere. Some days, you couldn’t even find a seat in the kitchen because everyone was eating, playing cards, and talking. Those moments mattered; they made work feel lighter.
So, when I saw participation in these traditions drop off, I wondered what had changed. The answer: it isn’t that today’s employees don’t care about culture. It’s that the definition of “team culture” has shifted.
What’s Actually Changed?
For years, bonding meant potlucks, birthday cake in the breakroom, Secret Santa exchanges, or the occasional bowling night. These events created a real connection for many of us.
But younger staff, especially those in their 20s, often see work life differently. This generation values connection, but on their own terms. Many draw clearer boundaries between work and personal time. They’ve grown up with open conversations around mental health, burnout, and the importance of recharging.
When they decline the team party, it’s rarely about disliking coworkers; it’s about needing space, managing outside commitments, or simply preferring a calmer environment.
To them, a healthy culture means respect, fairness, and support during the workday, not necessarily forced socializing.
Don’t Take it Personally (Even if You Want To)
I’ll admit, it was hard not to take it personally. I planned wine tours, baseball games, and even spa days that were met with minimal enthusiasm. Sometimes, no one could commit, even after polling the group. Other times, most of the team canceled at the last minute, despite everything being paid for.
At first, I felt rejected. But I’ve realized it’s rarely personal. Many younger team members would rather decline honestly than fake enthusiasm for an activity they don’t enjoy. That honesty is actually a sign of respect. Reframing it this way has saved me a lot of frustration.
Instead of trying harder to convince people, I started asking myself: what do they value?
Just Ask Them
Instead of guessing, ask directly. You might say in a huddle or one-on-one:
“I’ve noticed not everyone’s interested in team activities, and that’s totally okay. But I’d love to know what makes you feel connected or appreciated at work.”
Often, the answers are simple. Some want verbal recognition. Others want flexibility or fairness more than social time. A few may enjoy occasional events, but only if they’re during work hours, low-pressure, and optional.
You don’t have to reinvent your culture. You just have to understand what connection means to your team.
Build Team Culture into the Workday
Culture can’t be outsourced to occasional celebrations. It’s built into the everyday ways people treat each other. While a lunch or outing can be fun, the strongest cultures live in the rhythm of daily work. Encourage teammates to greet one another genuinely.
Lead short, positive huddles that set a collaborative tone. Show appreciation in the moment. Say thank you when someone helps out or acknowledge when a colleague pushes through a tough day. These everyday acts matter more to today’s workforce than any pizza party or trust fall.
By normalizing authentic connection during work hours, leaders create a culture that feels natural and inclusive without asking employees to sacrifice personal time.
Be Thoughtful About “Fun” Events
It’s still okay to do nice things. Celebrate birthdays, bring in donuts, plan the occasional outing, but keep it optional and judgment-free. Avoid guilt-tripping people who don’t attend (something I admit I struggled with at first).
Flexibility helps, too. Instead of a big dinner after hours, try a casual breakfast before work or an extended lunch with no agenda. Keep it simple, low-pressure, and manageable.
Private Recognition Goes a Long Way
Many younger staff prefer private acknowledgment over public praise. A quiet, “Hey, I really appreciated how you handled that difficult patient today,” can mean more than a big announcement.
That doesn’t mean eliminating public recognition altogether; it’s about tailoring your approach. The key is knowing your team members well enough to recognize how they prefer to be appreciated.
Redefine What “Team” Means
Maybe it’s time to let go of the idea that everyone must be close friends, or that participation in group events is the hallmark of teamwork.
A successful dental team is one where people:
- Communicate respectfully
- Support each other during busy times
- Handle conflict maturely
- Trust one another to do their jobs well
You don’t need holiday sweater days for that. What you need is consistency, fairness, and shared purpose. That said, don’t assume this generation never wants to connect socially. Some do, but often in smaller groups, through humor, or organically in the flow of work.
Keep Showing Up
Even if your efforts sometimes feel unnoticed, don’t stop showing appreciation. Just adapt. Leave a thank-you note. Grab someone’s favorite drink before a busy day. Give a team member 15 minutes to breathe after a tough patient.
These quiet moments of support are often how today’s employees experience culture, through how they’re treated, not how many potlucks are scheduled.
Final Thoughts
Managing a team that engages differently than you once did can feel frustrating. But the goals haven’t changed. People still want to feel respected, supported, and part of something positive. They just don’t want to be pressured into activities that don’t fit their lives.
So, the next time only three people RSVP to the after-hours event, do it like Elsa, and let it go. Bring the pizza to the breakroom the next day. Focus on what really matters: creating a daily environment where people enjoy coming to work, feel valued for their contributions, and leave each day a little better than they started it.
That’s the kind of culture that lasts—no matching T-shirts required.
About the Author
Brooke Moltion, FAADOM
I have been a dedicated dental office professional for over six years and currently serve as the Business Office Manager, a role I stepped into in 2019 after starting with my practice during my Dental Assisting internship. I graduated from our local Dental Assisting program in 2016 and have been a proud member of the American Association of Dental Office Managers (AADOM) since 2019.
In September 2020, I earned my Fellowship with AADOM, reflecting my commitment to continued growth and excellence in dental office leadership.
I live with my husband, two sons, and two dogs. Outside of the office, I enjoy an active family life, staying involved with my sons’ football and wrestling teams. In the off-season, I spend time gardening, hiking, golfing, traveling, watching movies, and camping.
I am passionate about helping patients navigate the often-complex world of insurance and billing, finding true joy in turning challenges into solutions and building trust through clear communication and compassion.
