Understanding Perspectives
A Dental Office vs. A Parent’s View of a Child with a Cleft Lip and Palate
The experience of caring for a child with a cleft lip and Palate presents two distinct perspectives: one from the dental office and the other from the parents’ point of view.
While the dental team approaches the condition through clinical treatment and rehabilitation, parents experience the emotional and practical challenges of raising a child with such a craniofacial anomaly. Understanding these differing perspectives helps bridge gaps in communication, foster empathy, and enhance collaborative care for the child.
The Dental Office Viewpoint: Clinical Considerations
Dental professionals, including pediatric dentists, orthodontists, and oral surgeons, have a clinical and technical approach when caring for children with a cleft palate. They focus on medical treatment, dental health, and ensuring that the child’s oral development proceeds normally.
Initial Diagnosis and Immediate Care: When a child is born with a cleft, the dental office often becomes involved early on in the child’s life, working alongside pediatricians and speech pathologists. The dental team assesses the severity of the cleft and collaborates with other specialists for a comprehensive care plan.
Focus on Oral Health: For dental professionals, one of the primary concerns is the impact of the cleft on the child’s oral health. Children with cleft palates may experience:
- Feeding Challenges: Initially, dental teams may provide guidance on feeding techniques for babies with clefts, including special bottles or nipples to help with suction.
- Dental Development: The dental office closely monitors the development of the child’s teeth and gums, as clefts can affect tooth alignment, the eruption of teeth, and jaw growth. Early intervention with orthodontics may be necessary.
- Speech and Dental Health: As children with clefts age, they may require speech therapy, and dental professionals must work closely with speech pathologists to ensure proper alignment and functioning of the oral structures.
- Surgical Coordination: Dental teams often collaborate with surgeons who perform cleft repair surgeries, providing pre-and post-operative care to ensure optimal recovery and minimal complications.
- Long-Term Management: Dental professionals emphasize long-term follow-ups to ensure the child’s oral health remains optimal as they grow. Regular checkups allow for early intervention if any dental or orthodontic issues arise due to the cleft.
The Parent’s Viewpoint: Emotional and Practical Challenges
For parents of a child with a cleft palate, the experience can be emotionally overwhelming as they navigate the medical complexities, financial burdens, and emotional toll of caring for their child. Here’s what parents might experience from their perspective:
- Initial Shock and Emotional Impact: The discovery of a cleft palate, whether during pregnancy or at birth, is often overwhelming for parents. The condition may be unexpected, and parents may feel scared, sad, or anxious about what the future holds for their child. There may be a period of mourning for the “perfect” child they envisioned, as well as fear over the child’s future health, development, and appearance.
- Feeding and Early Challenges: In the first few months of life, parents often face practical difficulties with feeding their baby. A cleft palate makes it difficult for infants to create a seal for suction, so feeding may require special bottles or positioning techniques. Ensuring that their child receives proper nutrition can be a major concern for parents during the early stages.
- Navigating Medical Appointments: Parents typically have a lot of appointments to manage, not only with dentists and oral surgeons but also with specialists in speech therapy, ENT (ear, nose, and throat) care, and even psychological support. These appointments can feel overwhelming as they juggle their child’s health needs and their own emotional well-being.
- Concerns about Appearance and Social Stigma: Parents are often concerned about their child’s appearance, especially when the cleft is visible. As children grow, there may be worries about teasing or bullying from peers due to their facial differences. The emotional pain parents feel when they see their child struggle with self-esteem or when they have to explain their condition to others can be deeply difficult.
- Hope and Advocacy: Despite the challenges, parents are also hopeful and often become strong advocates for their child’s care. They celebrate milestones like successful surgeries or speech development and fiercely support their child’s right to a fulfilling, happy life. They often work closely with medical teams, including dental professionals, to ensure the best outcomes for their children.
- Financial and Logistical Strain: The cost of surgeries, treatments, and ongoing care can be significant, and many parents face financial strain. While dental professionals may recommend necessary procedures, parents may experience stress around insurance coverage, payment plans, and navigating healthcare systems to ensure they can provide the best care for their child.
The Day I Found Out
I will never forget the day I was made aware of my child’s diagnosis. I had to go to the appointment alone because my husband could not get off work.
The doctor walked in with papers in his hand, and for some reason, my heart sank, and I knew something was wrong: He never walked in with anything at any of the other appointments.
He looked at me and asked if I knew anything about clefts. I said no, and he showed me some pictures of the different types of clefts that children can be born with.
I kept my composure the entire time, even as I was leaving the office. I made it to my car, and once I sat in my car, I broke down. The ultrasound tech kept saying it was bad; we had no idea how things would play out when my son was born. We had no idea if he would need feeding tubes or if he would even make it, and that was terrifying.
Before having our son, we met with the cleft team at ST. Louis Children’s Hospital. They were wonderful and have been wonderful this entire time.
Hello World
The day my son was born, all of the fear disappeared. He was perfect in our eyes. I will say things have been hard, especially with not having anyone you can talk to who has been through a similar situation. The mental toll that it had taken on me was awful.
Having a cleft made it hard for my son to eat. He had special bottles, but due to the gap, he always sucked in air, and that hurt his belly.
My son had his first surgery at 4 months old. He cried for three days straight, did not sleep, and I cried along with him.
You also learn with a cleft child how mean people can be. I had been asked so many things, and it was truly heartbreaking. People asked if I knew while I was pregnant with him, and I said yes, and they asked why I would keep the child. People would also stare and ask what was wrong with him. I knew that I could always look at him, and my heart would melt.
My sweet boy is getting ready to turn 10 years old. He has had 8 surgeries and is getting ready to have another. In my eyes, he is the true definition of a superhero.
That boy has been through more trauma than most adults. He is striving and living his best life. He does not let his medical condition get in the way of his life. He stays busy all year round with sports. He plays baseball, basketball, football, and wrestling.
I am so proud of him and all that he has accomplished.
About the Author
Amber Farrar, MAADOM
Amber is the Central Missouri Regional Manager with Access Dental Services, LP in Missouri, a growing company with seven locations. She has worked in dentistry for 9 years, starting as a front desk assistant with no dental experience; however, she has leveled up her career and is now a regional manager.
Amber received her FAADOM in 2024 and her MAADOM in 2025.
